Overcoming anxiety through meditation was not something I ever imagined for myself. I was trapped in an ego-driven life, chasing distractions and temporary relief, until anxiety took hold of me in ways I couldn’t understand. What started as an overwhelming fear of health issues eventually led me to a path I didn’t expect—one where meditation became the key to detaching from my overactive mind, letting go of my ego, and uncovering a sense of peace I never thought possible.
Trapped in an Egoic Life
There was a time when my life felt like a carousel of partying, fleeting fun, and superficial satisfaction. I was trapped in an egoic life, chasing validation through external pleasures, completely unaware of the depth of life that existed beneath the surface.
Everything shifted when I met a woman I deeply loved—love so profound that I willingly left behind the version of myself that thrived on excess and distraction. But leaving that life came with unexpected consequences: anxiety. Anxiety so intense, so foreign, that I didn’t understand it.
The Onset of Anxiety and My Fear of Disease
The anxiety didn’t just hover around as worry; it manifested as a deep fear of health issues—diseases I didn’t have but couldn’t stop obsessing over. My mind was overactive, imagining worst-case scenarios that felt impossible to escape. I couldn’t rationalize why I felt this way, and the discomfort seemed endless.
At the time, I had heard of spirituality, but I didn’t see how it could be relevant to me. I just wanted the anxiety to calm down and vanish, nothing more.
Temporary Relief in Old Patterns
Like many people searching for relief, I noticed that when I went out drinking or partying—returning to the habits I had tried to leave behind—the anxiety disappeared. Temporarily, it was as though the burden lifted, and I could feel “normal” again. But these escapes didn’t last. The moment the buzz faded, the anxiety returned, often stronger than before.
Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
In my search for solutions, I turned to therapists. They introduced me to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a technique that encourages gaining distance from thoughts and altering the way we think. CBT taught me how to manage anxiety through activities like sports to release the physical tension and through reframing my thought patterns.
While it helped, I still knew this was just surface-level relief. I sensed it was an overactivity of some sort—like my mind was in constant overdrive. I wanted calm, not just management.
A Life-Changing Conversation
At a low point, I spoke to a man who had spent three months in a Scottish monastery. Our conversation triggered substantial change. He told me:
“Your thoughts are tools, not masters. Learn to observe them—not to let them control you.”
That one sentence planted a seed in my mind. He explained the concept of meditation, teaching me to observe my thoughts without judgment and to watch them come and go, like clouds in the sky. It was the first time anyone had offered me a different perspective—one where I wasn’t fighting my thoughts but watching them.
Meditation: A Door I Didn’t Know I Was Opening
When I first started meditating, I didn’t know what I was doing. I sat in silence, trying to observe my mind, and all I could feel was restlessness. My thoughts were loud, and sitting still felt impossible. But I stuck with it, even if only for a few minutes each day.
Little did I know, this simple practice would open the door to the most profound journey of my life.
Over the years, meditation taught me something incredible:
It’s not the external world that causes suffering—it’s the thoughts we attach to and the emotions they trigger.
Unraveling the Ego and Discovering the Observer
Through meditation, I began to notice that my thoughts were not me. I could observe them, step back from them, and in doing so, I created space—space where anxiety couldn’t hold me in its grip.
As I continued this practice, I started to unravel the ego—this constructed identity of thoughts, fears, and attachments that I had built up over the years. Who was this “me” that worried endlessly? Who was the one experiencing all this discomfort?
Then I discovered something deeper: the observer.
The observer within me wasn’t caught up in the drama of my mind. It was calm, still, and untouched by anxiety or fear.
This is when I understood the difference between the “i” (the egoic, limited self) and the “I” (the universal, timeless self connected to pure consciousness).
Anxiety as a Teacher
At the start, I only wanted my anxiety to go away. I didn’t realize that my anxiety was a teacher, pushing me to let go of the false self I had been clinging to. It forced me to look deeper, beyond my thoughts, and to reconnect with a truth that had always been there but had been covered up by noise.
Discovering the Universal Energy
The more I observed my thoughts and let go of attachments to them, the more I started feeling a deep, radiant energy within me. This energy wasn’t something external—it was always there, waiting to be uncovered.
I could move it through my body and sense it radiating as pure being. It grew stronger the more I let go of my ego and became present. In these moments, I felt connected to something far greater: universal consciousness—a state of pure love and peace beyond anything I had experienced before.
The Path Forward
Looking back, I see that anxiety was not a curse—it was the gateway to something far greater. Meditation became my anchor, and observing my thoughts became my freedom. It’s a path I now walk every day, one where suffering diminishes and pure bliss emerges in its place.
From Student to Guide
Now, I teach others how to walk this path—how to detach from the mind, ease the ego, and connect with their true, radiant selves. Through meditation, breathwork, and other practices that help reduce the barriers of the ego, I guide people toward a state of consciousness itself.
The journey I started to simply “calm down” anxiety has become my life’s purpose: helping others reconnect with the universal energy within them.
Your First Step to Letting Go
If you’re experiencing anxiety, discomfort, or an overactive mind, know that there is a way through it. Meditation and learning to observe your thoughts can be your gateway, just as they were for me.
The journey isn’t always easy, but it leads to a place of peace and clarity you might not yet imagine.
Start small. Sit in silence. Breathe. Watch your thoughts.
You may just discover, as I did, that what lies beyond thought is freedom.